[Dixie]

22 years old. Graduated from college. Go to work for up-start company with lots of stock options.

25 years old. Have 1st kid. Now hotshot computer geek getting "shot at" by management. Just wants to figure out how to get software to even remotely work like vapor-ware sold by marketing twits.

29 years old. All tuckered out from working 20 hours a day and being on-call the other four. Finds out job is outsourced to India. Realize options are worthless. No severance given.

30 years old. Join Internet startup. World is your oyster after all!

31 years old. Buy newer used car, small condo, and laptop. Get over the poverty feeling.

32 years old. Divorce “no sex” 1st wife. Pay child support and maintenance while looking for 2nd wife. Play lots of "Doom" and Internet chat looking for 2nd wife.

33 years old. Repeat above for a few more years.

35 years old. Marry young 35 year old anthropology grad student.

37 years old. Buy small starter home. Gave first one to first wife.

38 years old. Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again.

39 years old. Company out-sources jobs to Malaysia. Realize stock options worthless. Sell house, and soul, to cover cash flow.

42 years old. 2nd wife runs off with slick marketing guy, but gets to keep house (100%).

43 years old. Resolve to stay away from women forever. Settle for position as a Wal-Mart employee to have something to do. Move into cardboard box.

50 years old. Meet fat ugly women who think they’re “hot” and want you to pay their mortgage..

55 years old. Fat-ass women still think you should worship them. Complain they can't find men.

56 years old. Women are now hog-a-sarus in size. Still think they’re “hot”. Think you should worship them. Complain they can't find men. You decide paying for lap dances is a good thing....

57 years old. Make rash investments to try and have enough money for retirement.

59 years old. Lose money on rash investment and get audited by the IRS. You have to work three jobs s just to keep up with child support and alimony to wife #1. Unfortunately, no one will hire you because you’re old.

60 years old. No one will hire you. Live in cardboard box and lie about how you and Bill were "tight".

65 years old. No money. No women. Wishing you'd have a heart attack. But no, you sold your soul... Remember?