[M.D. Holloway]

While in Dubuque Iowa this morning I called on a sheet metal fab house. While waiting to see the Plant Manager the rep and I chatted up the Admin Asst. She looked like a younger version of Darryl Hanna with a boob job. She let us know that she had a late night.

“What time did you get in?” I asked.

“About 4:00AM!” She said.

“Can’t make that a habit huh?” I said.

“Oh even in High School I did it, my Mom used to call me a dirty little stay out.” She said.

“A ‘dirty little stay out’? That’s pretty funny. I never heard that before. Is that a common phrase in these parts?” I asked.

She looked blankly at me with her empty crystal blue eyes and said ‘Ya, I guess. Its something my Mom used to call me’.

I thought it was pretty funny. I figured the next time my Wife came in from a night of cards with the girls I would greet her as ‘my dirty little stay out’.

I hit the road this afternoon heading towards Cedar Rapids. Stopped for gas and got a drink. Something called FUZE – had them before, their OK. As I was checking out the girl behind the counter (who couldn’t have been more than 18, cute and had Midwest innocence) said “Wow, what is this? Is it any good?”

“You never had one? Here try it out.” as I opened up the bottle.

“No, I don’t wanna give you koodies.” She said.

“Koodies! What are ya, a DIRTY LITTLE STAY OUT?” I asked.

The look on here face said it all. “I’m not a dirty little stay out. Why would you say that!” I thought she was gonna cry or something.

“No, you don’t understand…I didn’t mean anything by it…really!” I tried to explain my morning but I don’t think it stuck.

I felt a little bad until I started thinking about how it reminded me of the Seinfeld episode when the African marathon runner called the fatherless child in Elaine’s apartment building ‘a little Bastid’. I still am laughing over it. I'm an idiot!