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nostatic, im in a similar position. have 36yr old drop dead goodlooking girlfriend. built like....well you know! she has never been married. college educated, own home, own biz. WE GET ALONG UNREAL THRU SOME TESTY THINGS. ie. scuba diving, camping in torrential rains and lightning, forest fires(half her place is toast), flash floods after fire(2 ft from here door-wall of water at least 8 ft) some real crap including p-car breaking down and a KAT getting nailed by harris hawk and my older son now in jail! some real crap has landed on our plates and we have gotten thru it.
i told my ex wife of 23 yrs and mother of my 2 kids on 9/11/99 "to get the FUCH out or get some help!" due to her double dosing prozac,drinking day and night, valium,claritan, and pot. it was a train wreck! a really bad bad bad TRAIN WRECK! i have managed much like the phx bird to arise from the ashes. i should have been of fricking prozac!!!!!!! my kids took it on the chin badly. i have joint custody, no child support, no spousal maint. my house was free and clear along w/all my toys and hers. we owed the measly sum of $2500 to the world! the american dream!!!! i had to take a note on the house to satisfy ex's remodel, after the divorce became final.
anyway my ex managed a .254 BAC AGG DUI with injuries! the worst case you can have. it is actually cheaper in the long run to kill someone drunk than to injure them(go figure). needless to say the white flag of surrender went up and i basically called all the shots. thank god i saw this train wreck coming and canceled her insurance when she split. i have mentioned this story before. my ex was not white trash. daddy was ex CEO of fortune 100 company. i loved her but could NOT LIVE WITH THE DYSFUNCTION! and it still continues 7 yrs after the fact.
my point being i have found someone else i love.............ALOT! she wants to have kids. i'm 48 shes 36. i have told her i would if we plan it out. i love her that much and want her to have in life the joy of motherhood. i did enjoy being a father, a family man, coach, etc. with my kids. believe it or not I ENJOYED BEING MARRIED MORE THAN BEING SINGLE! yes being single affords you less responsibility. the means to dump mass quanities of cash into your p-car, and other toys. date multiple women. screw your brains out etc. but is that what life is all about????? i also have a friend who is 54 with a 27 yr old latin bombshell. they get along great, but she wants kids. he has fought w/this decision for over 2 yrs. he finally gave in and asked her to marry him. he has realized he loves her more than life itself, and he has decided the same as i that when you do something the second time, you ALWAYS DO IT BETTER! sure theres sacrifice, beeny-weeny night instead of $100 suishi night. you dont get to go out to the track as much, dont get to scuba dive as much etc. you just have to make the decision what you want to do in life thats all. sounds simple doesnt it? but the reality is what makes YOU happy. if YOUR NOT HAPPY HOW CAN ANYONE AROUND YOU BE HAPPY!
the only thing we get to leave is our legacy, for good and for bad. and our children are the mirrors of our souls for good and for bad. all any of us get is an "ATTA BOY" and a grave stone, when its all said and done. i no longer subscribe to be the richest person on the block, the one w/the most cars etc. what i have learned is happiness comes from within and sharing that with someone you love. love is fleeting. some people nail it on the head the 1st time, some dont and have been married /divorced multiple times. some never find love!
i actually wondered years ago if i would ever fall in love again. i have been blessed this time, more than i realize. think of the love of your lifes, concern about you going to the track and the sacrifice she makes for you and your interests. its a 2 way street and both parties have to sacrifice to make it work. i became self centered after my divorce, and did things that made me alone happy. probably to mask the pain of my divorce. which the only way i can describe was a MILLION TIMES WORSE THAN MY PARENTS PASSING AWAY. but i finally realized and it took time, enjoying things by myself wasnt what i yearned for. i yearned to share my enjoyment no matter how small, big, cheap or expensive with someone else. i have finally found someone else to share my joys/conquests/ups/downs/in-btwns etc. and that in it self is EQUAL to finding a brand new 917 in pristine shape buried in some barn!
good luck with this. its a tough call. remember you cant take it with you, and there are NO LUGGAGE RACKS ON HEARSES!
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