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i learned how to type fast, doing 35 page college papers the night before they were DUE! the nuns at jesuit high school had a way of getting your attention with those freeking rulers also! BIG TIME! LOL!
but back to topic. i was B***CH SLAPPED like no tommorow after my divorce. my ex and my kids all went down the bad road. i have figured out in this time period you can only control yourself not others or their actions. and when it comes down to substance abuse be it booze pills coke heroin perscribed or illegal drugs, LOVE WILL ALWAYS be second! every single damn time! just getting someone into REHAB is a freeking MIRACLE!
i believe or not in the last 7 yrs have dated 2 women that drank and were on anti-depressants! when i found out, you could NOT TIE A BIG ENOUGH ICBM ROCKET TO MY ASS TO GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE! talk about once burned twice shy! when it comes to any relationship you have to ask yourself "CAN YOU LIVE WITH IT?" nobody is perfect male or female. if having a kid is your wifes answer to making the marriage better, you have a problem. having a kid will compound the problems the relationship already has and more than likely lead to its demise.
both parties have to agree on having a kid.........PERIOD! it takes alot of time money caring etc. as any of us know raising kids. when i got laid off in '97 i WAS "MR MOM"! that was the hardest damn job i ever had in my life and i have been working since i was 12! that movie WILL FOREVER be etched in my mind! that was ME! plain and simple. our kids are sponges dont ever forget that. if i have ANY regrets about raising my 2 boys, it would be dirt bikes. and i have been riding all my life. it wasnt the times we rode together, it was the times they got on someone elses bike and tried to imitate a freestyle stunt they saw someone else do. man i had my share of mayo clinic scares. broken wrists, broken leg(2 plates), fractured vertabrae etc. watching your kid in agony will change you.................BELIEVE ME!
my key before i was married was to live with my ex for 2 years. we got along great. we got married had kids. 1st was planned 2nd was a surprise. a happy one but none the less a surprise. we sacrificed and we did it, very well up til her substance abuse . when everything went to hell. after 2 years of living w/someone you know the ups/downs etc. and how you will get along. but there is no telling how either spouse will change in years to come in the relationship. any relationship is nothing more than a CRAP SHOOT!
having kids or having more kids will test the both of you like never before, for good and for bad. i was told by some other parents that if your kid reaches the age of 20 and is not dead, addicted to drugs or in prison...................YOU HAVE BEEN A GOOD PARENT! well neither of my sons are dead(thank god), neither is addicted to anything at this time(got through that one by the skin of my A$$!) and neither is in prison! the older one is spending 30 days in jail(tent city) due to continued stupid sh*!. nothing violent, just being with the wrong group who just happened to be in possession of some stolen golf clubs!!!! we call it the "GREAT GOLF CLUB CAPER!" along with numerous traffic violations ie. riding dirt bikes on side walks etc. crap we did but just never got caught! so in ending................having more kids nostatic will make you gray early, allow you less track time, you will work harder and longer hours, you will have moments of sheer terror, you will sleep less, you will party less, you will go on less vacations............................but you will have the joy and pride of something YOU DID AND YOUR WIFE that money cant buy!
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