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A woman, after several failed relationships, decides to put a "singles" ad in the paper. She states in the ad that she's looking for an honest man who won't beat her, walk out on her and is "good in bed". A few days later the doorbell rings and she opens the door to find a guy w/ no arms or legs on the porch. "I'm here to answer your ad" he says. She looks at him skeptically and says "Well, you have no arms so you can't beat me and you have no legs, so you can't walk out on me. But are you any good in bed?" He says "Hey, I rang the doorbell didn't I?!"
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"Prayer isn't a parachute. It's a compass. It doesn't save you from the storm. It guides you through it." - Bear Grylls
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