Not wanting to bring the
worst smell ever post back from the depths, I thought I'd enlighten you.
I have, without a doubt, discovered the worst smell.
Ever
I have tanned leather with modern methods, and with urine over months periods of time. Reeks to high heaven.
I have boiled meat off road-kill for clean bone. I have smelled skunk up close, I have smelled sun-cooked road-kill Armadillo. I have smelled mushroom farms, decomposed people and animals, rotten egg, overcharged car battery, dead whale, diaper pail, rotting fish, bat guano, and paper-mills. I have smelt what a refridgerator smells like two weeks after the electricity's been cut...just after a shopping trip. I have smelt 3rd degree burn. I have smelled skanky ho-snatch.
I have smelled all manner of smelly stink.
This goes
way beyond all those. And probably Vulture poop, too.
As I type, I sit with a bleach-covered towel around my face just to get rid of the smell in my nose. Toxic? I don't care right now.
What I discovered...in my fridge...was
awful.
My wife - I love her to death - is a confirmed slob. Loves to buy food and let it rot. A few days ago, she questioned me about a "bad smell" coming from the kitchen. In the fridge. Yep...it stunk allright. I cleaned out some of her old food, but it wasn't any of those things.
I looked, but coulnd't find anything.
I just discovered, under the bobbom vegetable drawer, what could only be described as...
something.
It was brownish, thick, genatinous. It had spots of mold on it. I was
foul Unbelievably foul.
I was so foul that, upon it's discovery, I immediately began wretching for the next 20 minutes. Lysol - didn't help. Orange Clean - didn't help. Bleach - mostly didn't help. Nothing actually helped. As I sat there sopping up this mess, wretching into the trash, I cursed my wife for being such a slob and a wasteful person.
I fear one day, she'll inadvertently kill us.
Pardon me, I must go wretch some more.