[cmccuist]

I told my father I was tired of running around in circles. He nailed my other foot to the ground.

He told me we were going to play tag and he'd drive.

I know my wife is cheating on me. Are you kiddin'? When I come home the parrot yells "quick, out the window."

I bought a used car and found her dress in the back seat.

I tell ya, my proctologist, he's the only one I see eye to eye with.

There's a profession - proctologist. You start at the bottom and you stay there.

I asked him if my heart was strong enough for sex. He said "not if you join in."