[Porsche-O-Phile]

Anyone have certain expressions/phrases they encounter that just either irritate the hell out of them or make 'em laugh at the utter stupidity/absurdity of them?

I just overheard one of our do-nothing middle-managers asking someone on the phone "what's the status of _____?" I personally can't stand this phrase. It seems like it's increasing in popularity too and it typically used by insecure managers to ask (essentially):

"Are you done with that? I promised it to so-and-so and since I've been busy wacking off in the john all day, I haven't been able to check for myself, much less do any work on it myself. Since when I made that promise to so-and-so I wasn't really sure I could keep it, but I made it anyway, so now I'm worried. More accurately I wasn't sure YOU could keep it since I dumped it on you anyway. Either I don't trust you or I have no idea what your capabilities are and that you meant 'I'll have it done by tomorrow' when you said 'I'll have it done by tomorrow'. I know it's my job to know these things as a manager, but I'm just not sure. I'm so worried. I need to make sure I won't get in trouble for missing the arbitrary deadline I committed (you) to and can count on keeping my cushy, high-paying job and my ensure my pipes remain clean through my regular and lengthy wack-off sessions. So I'm harassing you and wasting your time demanding this 'status' update since that'll SOMEHOW make things go faster than letting you have the time to actually accomplish the job".

Another one I absolutely can't effin' stand (but makes me laugh at its stupidity) is "we need to think outside the box". Christ. If you mean to say, "we need creative solutions", just say, "we need creative solutions". Don't resort to some tired cliche. Here's a news flash - a cliche is (by definition) something that's distinctly "inside the box". It represents the antithesis of creativity in its choice of expression. Way to lead by example there! Let's keep those great examples workin'!

So who else has some good ones that are either annoying or funny?