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The older one should most likely be put down, as unfortunate and painful as it is. Her quality of life has taken a huge hit and at 13 the likelihood that she'll recover is pretty slim I would imagine. I've heard that it is in the dog's nature is to hide pain and discomfort from the Alpha, in this case you or your wife.
As an example we had a Samoyed that was diagnosed with diabetes at about age 12. We were giving insulin shots, which was tough to regulate in the winter due to arthritis flare ups, causing stress, which in turn would make the diabetes go out of whack. I left for an overseas business trip and he 'appeared' to be doing okay. I ended up telling my wife that we (she) had to put him down as he was going places in the yard where he would never go as if he were looking for a place to quietly pass on while I was gone. I still regret not being there when he was put down, but couldn't bear the thought of doping him up until I returned.
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