[pwd72s]

GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION.
HERE ARE(8) NEED TO KNOW FACTS:

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard
stomach, you are gay.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the
boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing
sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A
cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself
constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate
touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be
fed.
And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer,
come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!"
Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to
daddy, Snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed,
you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby
pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are
a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que
ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled
pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in
training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom
or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual
relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he
defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like
a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be
hard strong, black, and full aroma.
A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf
Cafe Latte with Skim "and he will never, ever know
what artificial sweetener tastes like.
If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a
man there, too.

6 If you know more than six names of colors or four
different types of dessert, you might as well be
handing out free passes to your ass. A real man
doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all
of that crap as well as all the names of all the
players in the Major league, NFL, NHL, college ball,
PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you
know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can
name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are
faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget
it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only
puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass
driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time
he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a
hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films,
mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is
acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who
knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the
above films by yourself or with another man is likely
to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion),
which is what happens to fags when they Flame out too quickly.