[legion]

There is a telemarketing firm here in town that hires gruff-sounding males and is contracted by the fraternal order of police to do their fundraising. They are relentless. They use the car saleman's close: "Do you care about the safety of your family?" (Yes) "Great, then your $200 donation will be greatly appreciated."

Sick of these guys calling up to 3 times a night, for about two weeks on end, I finally said: "I'm involved with a lawsuit against the state police, and I don't feel that donating to them would help my cause." The calls stopped and I haven't gotten one since.

***

In high school, my best friend would often call pretending to be a lawyer, a pizza delivery guy--whatever. It was a gag he pulled frequently, pretending to be someone else. We would BS each other until one of us started laughing.

So I get a call from someone who sounds suspiciously like my friend: "Hello Christopher, this is Sargeant Patrick with the Marine Corps, have you given thought to your plans after high school?"

Me: "Actually I have, I have seriously been contemplating suicide."

Guy on phone: "I don't think you're Marine material son." (Click.)

Me: WTF?

I call my best friend, I say: "That was a great gag Josh, why'd you hang up?"

Josh: "What are you talking about?"

Me: "You just called me didn't you?"

And then it hit me. He didn't call me. I just told a recruiter I was suicidal. I felt bad. I have all the respect in the world for the military and I didn't mean any disrespect.