[Porsche-O-Phile]

One of the students at the flight school I used to teach at (not one of mine, I'm happy to say) loved to f*ck with the air traffic controllers on the radio for whatever twisted reason (not recommended - those guys are great and will bend over backwards to help you out as a pilot, not to mention they get enough stress in their jobs as-is without having to deal with comedians on the VHF band, but I digress. . .)

Anyway I remember hearing a conversation similar to the following:

Student: "Tower, Cessna 1234A 10 miles to the south" (normally you also include "for landing" or "requesting transition northbound" or whatever as part of your initial call-up so they know what you're asking for)

ATC: "Cessna 1234A, say intentions"

Student: (trying to be funny) "Intentions"

ATC: (unamused) "Cessna 1234A will you be landing at Santa Monica Airport?"

Student: "Affirmative inbound for landing"

ATC: "Cessna 1234A, say again position" (10 miles south of SMO is likely in LAX airspace depending on altitude, a big no-no around here without explicit approval from Los Angeles ATC)

Student: (trying again to be funny) "Again position"

ATC: (sounding a bit exasperated) "CESSNA 1234A - WHAT IS YOUR POSITION?"

Student: "10 miles south of the airport"

ATC: "Have you been issued a squawk code by SoCal Approach?" (evidently upon checking with Los Angeles ATC, the Santa Monica tower controller was told that L.A. wasn't talking to anyone 10 miles south of SMO)

Student: "Negative"

ATC: "Cessna 1234A, say altitude" (he's trying to confirm whether Cessna 1234A is the airplane that evidently has been causing L.A. approach some consternation by flying near the approach paths)

Student: (definitely not helping his situation with this one) "Altitude".

ATC: "Cessna 1234A, squawk ident" (ident is a feature that makes your "blip" on their radar screen light up, making a positive identification of an aircraft with position or altitude in question)

Student "roger"

ATC: "Cessna 1234A, I show you at 3,000 feet - that is Los Angeles Class Bravo airspace - recommend you descend IMMEDIATELY and turn south and contact SoCal Approach on frequency XXX.XX"



Long story short, if you're gonna' crack jokes on the radio, don't be violating federal regulations when you do. Normally ATC will "work with you" even if you're doing something you shouldn't be doing (the controllers don't like paperwork) but in a situation like that where the "comedian" student pissed off the controller and was so FLAGRANTLY breaking airspace regulations, he sure made things worse for himself.

Like I said, I'm glad it wasn't one of mine. . .