[pwd72s]

Why Athletes Can't (Shouldn't) Have Real Jobs

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all
the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the
upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, which
ever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of
the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,
"Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom,
too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

5 Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going
to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is
beautiful).

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three,
and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why
would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for
three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps
a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget
how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime
of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock
in the morning regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining
to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at
practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm
going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room
temperature in January??)

12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told
him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what
he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like
you're spending too much time on one subject."