[Jims5543]

I have a public restroom horror story and I am the guilty party.


We ate in a Shulas Steakhouse in Pointe Orlando along I-Drive if you know the area. It helps set the disturbing mental picture I am about to paint.

My wife, my 11y/o son our 1 y/o son and I werre walking around looking in the shops after dinner. Then it hit me... first a slight twinge, then about 10 minutes later a sharp pain in my intestinal region. About 5 minutes after that, the cold sweat, a cold sweat is the warning sign that something really bad is going to come out of one end or the other and by the feeling of my intestines, yeah, we were taking the back door today.

I calmly tapped my wife on the shoulder, she looked at me and said, "Are you alright?" Stupid question. I said I have to find a bathroom NOW!

I located one near the parking garage, walked in, and dived into the open stall in the corner. There were 3 stalls and 3 urinals I was farthest from the urinals. (This is important, trust me)

I do not go poo in public restrooms, normally, I will hold it in until I am somewhere poo friendly. Home, Hotel, office maybe even a nicer restaurant bathroom. But never a general public toilet.

The toilet was nasty, I mean I did not want to go near it, but I had to. I decided I would try to do an air drop. My wife told me she does them all the time when she pees in public, so I decide this will be the best choice given the dire circumstances.

I dropped my drawers and then it hit me. There were about 4 dudes in the bathroom. There is no way in hell I can let this go with all these dudes around. I am trying like hell to hold it back and I am winning. Everyone leaves much to my relief, but another dude walks in. Dammit!! He walks over to the urinal, so I form a quick plan, I decide when he flushes I am letting this go, this way the urinal will drown out the sound of my, explosion. I am actually suprised I am holding it back, I can feel the pressure building like Mt. St. Helens, this is going to be a blast of biblical proportions.

So, the dude flushes the urinal, I decide not only to let go but to push and get it over with as fast as possible. The explosion that resulted, the sheer sound my ass made, words cannot describe. It scared me and I was doing it.... The guy at the urinal? He heard it.. my plan was ill founded. He let out a laugh and ran from the restroom, not even washing his hands.....pig!!

Now, lets back up a moment. Remember the part about the air drop and this being my first one? Yeah, well, my wife failed to tell me there is a little art to this, call it aiming if you will.

I was a little too high in the air with my ass. Well, I was a lot too high.

When I turned around to flush, I was at first horrorfied, then I began to laugh uncontrollably. I would venture an estimate of maybe 20% of this..... I do not know what to even call it... went where it was supposed to. The rest? Well, I wasnt; even attempting to touch the handle to flush the 20%. It just didn't even seem like it was worth it and plus it was, well, sort of decorated with a special spackle..... along with the back of the bowl,.... and the wall, maybe about 3' up the wall.

I cleaned up, feeling much better BTW, washed my hands (I am not a pig like the other guy) and calmly walked back to find the wife and kids.

I kept snickering at the thought of the mess I made. I felt really bad but I was also entertained in a sick and twisted way. My wife prodded as to what was up. She was very repulsed onc eI told her.

I felt pretty bad over the mess, I felt sorry for the poor soul that had to clean that, you do not pay a person enough money to deal with that. I am sure a pressure washer was used.