[Grady Clay]

Foster kid returns

What to do when former foster kid contacts after 15+ years?

I had a call from a kid (now 30+) that I foster parented in ’89-’90 +/- when he was 14-17. He has apparently had a somewhat tough life. He seems to need help in lots of areas (probably why he is calling after many years). What should I do?

He was always nice to me (other than the expected young teen difficulties given his background). When he became “of age” and disappeared from my life, he never chose to have contact (my address & phone are the same).

The difficulties are a life of alcohol (no drugs?), minor jobs, and a few scrapes with the law (DUIs & a felony 5 bar fight) and on parole. He is now a day-laborer living in a weekly motel. He has no money, no transportation and no support.

He is skilled in laying cement, both flat-work and foundations. Not much other. Education through 11th grade, no GED.

My question to the Forum: What should I do?

My inclination is to use my contacts to find him permanent employment in the concrete industry – something I can easily do. Should I also pay for short-term housing and transportation? What else – trade certification school? Other?

Here is a kid who was going to be lost from early in life. I first met him about age 12. As you can infer, I was a great influence in his life. I wish I had the opportunity to be more.

Am I trying to make up for the shortcomings in the situation years ago? Am I a “soft touch” from the past? Am I pissing up a tree?

I am looking at this as another opportunity to save a life.

What do you think? I value this Forum’s opinion, even OT.

Best,
Grady