Guys,
Thanks for all the good advice. My current mission is to gain more information and insight on his condition. I think this may be an act of desperation, possibly inspired by his parole officer for him to reconnect with significant people in his life.
I have asked him to make me a detailed time-line of his life in order to help him with a résumé. He is also to send me copies of all court papers and other so I can evaluate the situation. Once I receive that, I’ll send him a General Power of Attorney form to fill out. This will allow me to find all the legal information and confirm what he tells me. I’ll also send a grocery certificate and a small bank check to the motel that should help short term survival.
Mid-week I’ll see if I can take him to a long brunch if he isn’t working. He is living about 1 ½ hours south of me.
I’m going to make it clear that I am willing to help a little but he is not to show up at my doorstep. (I haven’t moved or changed phone numbers for 20+ years.)
Once I confirm the situation (and possibly talk to his parole officer), I’ll support him for a month or so. My immediate project would be to find him a job and living situation with some caveats.
I suspect some may be regular visits with a parole person, use of
antibuse and/or a 12-step program and regular contact by phone. Perhaps I can get a cheep cell phone for him. I understand that one of the more difficult things for people in this situation is regaining contact in life. (If we are so distressed when the Pelican server goes down, think how it must be with no phone, car, bank card or permanent address.
)
I think one of the most difficult aspects will be what he is to do with his off-work time. Don’s “Idle hands….” Perhaps this is where I can help get him involved in some things. I like
stomachmonkey’s suggestions for giving back to the community. That would put him in contact with the right people in a cooperative situation. I agree that even at 36, getting a GED is a worthwhile endeavor for his self-esteem and staying in the right direction.
But first things first; gather information, meet with him and then see.
Thanks for all the suggestions. Please keep the ideas coming. I’ll report what happens and ask for more ideas. I’m in uncharted territory.
Best,
Grady
