[johnco]

family near but we don't talk much. haven't talked to my brother for 14+- years and he lives a block away. Sister lives 100 miles away and I can't take more than an hour or so of her. Mother waves sometimes as she's going down the road before turning on my brother's street for one of her several daily visits. daughter lives 400 miles away and I've talked to her more in the last few months than in the last few years since she's away at college and out from under her mother's control and can freely contact me. she's busy with school but may come visit a few days for Christmas. I've always hated Holidays even when I had someone in my life. got nothing and no one right now. Projects? I've got 14 cars needing repair/rebuilding, a house that's been empty, used for storage and in major disrepair for 6 years I recently moved back into. no time! finish one pool in the morning and usually start another that afternoon. I've been working 6-7 days a week to keep my mind busy. No Problem.. been in this situation most of my life. it just takes time to get out of the funk. holidays make it worse though. Damn! you were this late in the drugs and booze warning. hehehe I'll be okay.. so used to this but so tired of it. had 6 wonderful years with someone until recently. now that I've had a taste of how good things could be, I don't want my old lonely life back. don't get me wrong. I'm friends with almost everyone in town and at one time long ago, dated (sort of) a large percentage of the attractive women. probably a bigger percentage of so so attractive ones also depending on what I was drinking at the time. haha all I do is work and sit home so it's tough meeting someone. no where to go but up cause it can't get any worse. just another day just like all the other days