[dhoward]

Simulated Santa....
Quite a few years back, my stepson Josh, decides that there was no Santa, and firmly stood by his decision. No amount of convincing could make him change his mind. Although his argument seemed quite airtight, and realizing that this would be the last year with any hope of keeping the tradition alive, I set about my scheme.
I had recently purchased a Furuno radar for my boat, but since it had turned cold, I decided to wait until spring to install it. I unpacked the unit in the kitchen all the while mumbling about the lack of timely Santa updates from NORAD. I mounted the radome outside on the deck and clamped the LCD on the kitchen counter. Josh continued about his business that day, but checked on my progress frequently. I went to the garage and constructed a reflector out of some sheet tin left over from an A/C duct, Tied it to a 10' piece of conduit and took it about 200 yards behind the house. I positioned the antenna to get a sharp target on the LCD and then called my brother Randy, explaining what I was up to. Always up for a little fun, and not having children of his own to screw with, he arrived with a 12-pack in minutes.
As darkness approached, Josh's curiosity got the better of him and he finally asked what I was doing. "Trying to get a better fix on Santa's position tonight" I said. My brother concurred.
At about 7:30, my brother walked out back and stuck the conduit in the ground, revealing a bright target amid the soft clutter on the LCD. "Holy *****", I exclaimed, "there he is!" Everyone gathered around the kitchen and looked. "That's not Santa ". "Well I have the antenna aimed up, but it's too low to be an airplane, so what else could it be?" The local news station corroborated my story throughout the evening, with Randy running back and forth to reposition "Santa". (It helped my cause to keep the beer in the back, also) Finally, and earlier than normal, Josh yawned a forced yawn, and declared he was tired and went to bed, with one final check on “Santa’s approach.
That was the last year for Josh and Santa, and may seem like a lot of work, but every Christmas Eve, we sit and recount the events of our 'radar' Christmas....