This is what the ransom note said:
Quote:
Dear Chris,
Do not be alarmed. Don’t look surprised. Pretend that this is your white 911. You are being monitored at all times. Your car is not in danger and it will be returned to you complete and unharmed provided our conditions are met. If you fail to comply with our conditions the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits for the next 30 years…
Our conditions are:
1. Do not ask questions
2. Do not tell anyone that your car is missing
3. Post on Pelican that you are selling several varieties of belly button lint to raise extra money for gas
4. Find the missing wheel/tire from your car and prepare it to be dropped off. You will be notified where and when it is to be dropped off.
5. Consider your favorite color of plaid and post it on Pelican under the off-topic heading: “I like plaid underwear”
6. Select and clean your favorite seats from your collection and prepare them to be dropped off. You will be notified where and when they are to be dropped off.
7. Locate a white bed sheet, piece of green paper, tub of butter, 4 Q-tips, 3 rubber gloves, and a bottle of Old Spice after shave. You will be notified what to do with it.
8. Memorize Chapters 4 and 6 of “Facts and Mysteries in Elementary Particle Physics” by Martinus Veltman and ponder its application to DE events
9. Locate a pair of green and black fuzzy dice scented ones if you can find them.
You also will be contacted from time to time and asked to perform several tasks. You must comply with these demands as quickly as possible. The quicker you respond the faster you will see the White Stag again.
We will be in touch.
- A Friend
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This was the source of the threads I posted on Off Topic:
FS: Belly button lint
I Like Plaid Underwear