[Sarc]

How about an older neighborhood with mature landscaping, pedestrian friendly sidewalks that lead to nearby retail and parks? It keeps the pounds off you (as well as little Johnny) and you might actually get to interact with the people that share your neighborhood.

Neighborhoods with houses that contain character and don't have a trace of "builder's beige" on them.

Afterall, beige mcmansions are the new tract housing, just with 2600 sf added to them (along with a dynamite 2 story entry foyer).

I agree with you, however, that the house (to your taste) is out there. You just have to look and be prepared in some instances to move.