[MRM]

Ian, I showed my wife this thread and she was pleasantly surprised that the advice I gave was very good. She said something like "You've actually been listening."

Give dad in law some slack and let him get to know you on his time. He's a really big shot there. If he was the same level in the US he would be out of our league. He might not know what to make of the Westerners, especially ones who are taking his daughter to another country. He might be worried that you are going to look down on him, because he's Chinese, despite his rank. Just be cool with him, treat him like you would anyone else, an share a couple of drinks with him. Make sure to defer to him a bit so he knows you respect him, and all will be well.

Ask the in laws how much you should put in the red enevlopes. A hundred Yuan is probably enough (that's about 12 USD) but more might be appropriate. Just feel it out so you give enough but not so much that it's uncomfortable for the receivers.