[Nader]

Buy the car. I can see the future with 87% accuracy. Wanna read your fortune? Here it is:

You approach your parents with the "bribe" of better grades, and their initial reaction is "NO!" But you persist, and your parents are so desparate to see you bring home better grades (considering your lackluster academic history, including the recent transfer), that they (your mom especially) let themeselves believe that this might be the key. Your dad, however, is more resistant as he already is familiar with the high costs of Porsche ownership and is afraid of being saddled with the inevitable costs of repairing a Turboed engine (I'll get to this in a minute).


Fast forward 3 weeks. You have finals coming up, but you're not able to concentrate on studying because all you can think about is the $8K repair estimate from the Porsche mechanic after blowing the engine in a race against a WRX-driving classmate who challenged you during a midnight Taco Bell run, and Dad's been on your case about getting that non-running, oil-leaking, rusting heap out of the driveway. Grandma's disappointed, too.

Fast forward 6 months, and "Steve" who noticed your car on campus a while back, recently got the nerve up to ask you what happened to it. You two talk for a bit, turns out he's handy with cars, wouldn't mind looking at it himself, and he's kind of cute, too.

A year and half later, you're done with school (sort of), Steve has your car running (sort of), and the two of you are engaged (definitely). You two will have a cute story about how you met over a crazy Porsche misadventure, Grandma's looking forward to a wedding, and parents have gotten over the whole car/school thing and still love you.

Fast forward 35 years, and your fully restored purple 73 is up for sale. But there's no way in hell you'll let some local flipper get his paws on it, so you sell it to a rich guy from The People's Islamic Republic of Iraq for $16K (the early Porsche bubble having long been burst). The proceeds are used to buy two more cords of wood heat your farmhouse. You see, North Carolina had long since seceded, as did many of the southern states after the civil war that broke out after the impeachment of Mrs. President Clinton, but the resulting economic collapse and massive depression reverted the country to an agrarian pre-industrial society. So you and Steve are lucky to be in an old farmhouse with a Porsche in a barn.

So buy the car.