[Isabo]

A man on a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted 'Excuse me, can
you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'
The woman below replied 'You are in a hot air balloon floating approximately 30ft above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'
'You must be an engineer,' said the balloonist.
'I am,' replied the woman. 'How did you know?'
'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far.'
The woman below answered, 'You must be in management.'
'I am,' answered the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'
'Well,' said the woman, 'you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a huge quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position as you were before we met, but somehow it's my fault!'


One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.


A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."


Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.



A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."