[Dan in Pasadena]

My Dad had a massive heart attack in 1970 when he was 45 and I was 15 years old. It was so bad he shouldn't have survived it, but he did. This was right before bypass surgery wascommon and before clot disolving drugs. My Dad lived another 20 years having a series of heart attacks until he died of one in 1990. In April it will be 17 years. After he died they found pictures in his wallet of me high jumping in high school. No idea how he got those but he did. He never attended a track meet of mine, never ever once told me he loved me in his life, but I know he did.

My mother says he would occasionally tell her he didn't think he was as good a father as he should have been. But I know he was as good a father as he knew how to be. I am now a 52 year old man and I have lived long enough to know some of the pressures he felt and I wish I could speak to him for only minutes to tell him "we're good, Dad. I always knew you meant the best for me".

My now-almost 26 year old son was only 5 when my Dad died. I have spent many times telling him about his grandfather; in a way so my father will stay "alive". I made a resolution the day of my Dad's funeral to be the best father I could imagine being and never to allow my son to think he wasn't loved more than anything. I have never regretted a minute of it. My son and I have never had a harsh word. He has told me I am his best friend and as far as I am concerned if I never do another thing in my life, I am HUGELY successful for having accomplished that. It is the highest honor of my life. In a way, it is BECAUSE of my dad that I managed to accomplishg these things. Sometimes they teach you even when they aren't meaning to. I believe I will hoist a glass to him tonight. Thanks for bringing his memory back today guys.