[Dueller]

I feel your pain....but...

In the first exchange you lost control. Instead of letting the conversation degenerate when it became apparent she did not tell him to call you about X, had you responded with "I see....do you think he would mind if I called him about X ownership?" none of the rest of the crap would have come up. I really think you should have let it go that she didn't ask him to call you.

In the second exchange, you made the mistake of not definitively stating you did mnot want to go on impulse...Your first statement was "Well, we could go tonight, but...." Had you started out with "I don't want to go tonight, I rather plan it so we don't have to rush...yadadadadad", I don't think the conversation would have taken the direction it did.

I think you're trying to be concilliatory and take her feelings into account a bit much. Not trying to defend her...I understand where you're coming from, but I kinda see her point if you've been extremely deferential in the past. Which I suspect you have.

Just say what you mean and be done with it. I bet she can deal with it better than you give her credit. Although the unjustified "You're saying I'm stupid..." is a bit melodramatic on her part.