[Isabo]

Remember Essex girls?

Q. How do you make an Essex girl's eyes light up?
A. Flash a torch in her ear.

Q.What's the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl?
A. A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

Q. What's the difference between an Essex girl and a Cray super computer?
A. You only need to punch information into a cray super computer once.


An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How
many children?"
Asks the council worker "10" replies the Essex girl
"10???" says the council worker. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing
in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAAYNE GO TO
BED NOW and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker.
"That's easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames"

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was her
boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that
there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"

Another Essex girl is involved in a serious crash there's blood everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Girl: "Ok."
Medic: "Ok the how many fingers am I putting up?"
Girl: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"