[Dueller]

I am recently (< 1 year) married to a woman with three kids: twin 16 y.0. dtrs and 18 y.o. son. We dated for 3 1/2 years before tying the knot so I got to know them when they were 12 and 14. I have no natural children.

Before we were married, I was just Mom's bf so I didn't interject myself into the heavy parenting role; I left that up to mom. I asked each of them permission to marry their mom and they were very enthusiastic and happy. I asked son to be my best man and the girls were the only bridesmaids. During the ceremony the son walked his mom down the aisle (her father is dec'd) and then took his place as my best man. I truly think they were flattered/honored whatever to be included in the decision and the ceremony.

It can be a little frustrating going from a bachelor of 10 years to husband and stepdad. I made it clear to them that I in no way was trying to replace their natural father. Also made it clear mom and I would not tolerate them trying to get in between our relationship. I had one rule: You can be jerks to your mom, to me, to each other..I could care less. BUT, if you pi$$ my wife off it becomes personal and I WILL care. So...just keep my wife happy and all will be well. So far it has worked out great.

They are truly wonderful kids. Sure we have the conflicts regarding curfews, dating, grades, cars yadadadada, but we address those things in an adult manner treating them with respect. And they return the respect. I give a lot of credit to their mom for that.

They have added so much to my life. I really do like them as individuals. I have heard the horror stories of other stepdads about insolent, surly, angst ridden teens but so far I've not experience any of that.

A friend of mine summed it up best when I was complaining a bit of how hectic my schedule was becomming with several of their activities: "You could be doing a lot worse things with your time than trying to help good kids become productive adults."