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I'll throw in my experience here....its the way the ex-wife and ex- husband deal with the split that had the most effect... the kids..admittedly only very young at the time were 'relatively easy'.. but the fights over week end care, school pick ups etc were a constant source of friction...in the end the issue became so constraining that our relationship suffered, our lives were being run in conjunction with a third unco operative adult...and eventually it broke down....
The kids in reality were a pleasure to deal with.. treat them correctly, fairly and with understanding regardless of whether they are biologically yours and you will earn their trust and respect..at that point the issue of being more a parent than concerned adult is easier and accepted....and dealing with the bigger issues becomes far less daunting.
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