[Moses]

OK, this is going to sound harsh...real harsh.

It's a little creepy calculating the value of a loan to a troubled brother. The money is part of your parents estate. It is not your money. Your parents have no obligation, moral or legal, to provide equally for you and your brother in this life or after their death. It's their money.

Many parents feel that the bulk of their estate should go to the child who has less. While I do not agree, I understand that the money belongs to them.

Your mother keeps bringing it up because she feels badly about the situation. In other words, you have failed to adequately reassure your mother that the money does not matter to you. A parent should never feel guilt for helping a child. Discussing estate planning with parents is a delicate issue. As a general rule, one should strive to be gracious at all times. It might help to remind yourself repeatedly that it is not your money.

I would understand your plight more if you were struggling with a large family and you were in danger of losing your home, but you're not. You are financially secure without any real need for a large inheritance. It is fortunate indeed that that your parents have been successful and that they are generous people.

Why not call your brother and tell him you're sorry if you've made him feel uncomfortable about the loan he got from your parents. Tell him your just happy that your parents were in a position to help him when he needed it. Tell him you don't care about the money. Remind him that you have plenty of money but you only have one brother.

Tell your mother how happy you are that she was able to help your brother when he needed it. Tell her you are sorry if you made her feel badly about her generosity. Tell her you don't care about the money. Remind her that you have plenty of money, but you only have two parents.

When your family is absolutely convinced that you are not concerned about the equity of your inheritance, there will be no more awkward conversations with your brother and there will be no anguish in your mothers voice.