[75Carrera]

Real Life can be very entertaining...

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Iams for Jerry and was in
line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby (again, duh) so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the Iams Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying
it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it
works is to load your pockets or purse with Iams nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so... I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no..... (choking so as not to laugh) I'd been sitting in the street
licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door. I think the woman was delightfully humiliated...


You don't want to know what I'd say to anyone questioning the handicap card when I'm parking the Porsche!