[the]

Len, it does make a difference.

If a person views a war as just, proper and in the interest of the US, losing 3K over 5 years would be palatable to the vast majority of those people.

But if a person views a war as unjust, improper, wrong, not in the interest of the US, then losing 3K over 5 years is unpalatable.

I understand what you're trying to say, but I think the mistake your making is you're implicitly putting everyone in the first category.

I think you're also misstating the detractor's argument on soldier's deaths. Yes, they talk about the 3K already lost, but I think they are more focusing on the many more that will be lost if this is an endless war with no realistic, feasible exit/victory strategy.