[john70t]

Here's an abreiviation of the visit:
Patient: "Doc, my back hurts. I think I sprained it"

Doctor: "Come to my office"
Doctor: "How are you today? How is the family? It's so nice to see you again".

Patient: "Not good. My back is sprained"

Doctor: "Does it hurt here?"

Patient: "Yes."

Doctor: "Does it hurt here?"

Patient: "Yes"

Doctor: "Your back is sprained. You need some pain medicine"

Patient: "Oh, crackhead bob down the street sells some good opium hash really cheap"

Doctor: "No. Only I'm allowed to decide if people can medicate their own bodies. Drugs are bad, and users deserve to be gang-raped in prison with large, dark penises(chuckle). By the way, did you know we have fruit-flavored Zoloft syrup for infants?"

Patient: "So what can you do for me?"

Doctor: "Nothing to ease your suffering-except a Vioxx perscription which will give you a heart attack. You're SOL. That'll be $250 for the visit and $150 for the drugs. Goodbye"