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The M3 would be the better car for your needs. You can't really go wrong with a BMW. My wife owned a 525i for a couple of years and we loved it.
As for what is more special, it's all in the eye of the beholder really. I had a choice of M3 or 996 for a daily driver. I chose the 996 and I don't regret it for a second. It's all about what works for the individual. In fact, on the Rennlist 996 forum there are quite a few former M3 owners now in 996's who are very happy with their switch. However, I'm guessing that they're not needing to carry the load you need to carry.
Again, for your needs, and considering you already own an '84, I think you'll be better served by the M3.
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