[notfarnow]

1) A couple years ago I saw God, and he was really pissed. He told me "your time is up" then there was a countdown, and then I passed out.

2) My mother-in-law is a narcissistic sociopath, and is not allowed on our property.

3) I bought the first house I ever looked at. It's my dream house, and I will never, ever move. Ever.

4) I rarely meet a person I don't like. I'm like a dumb dog that way.

5) I really like dumb dogs

6) I was once described in print like this: "He was a fly-by-the-seat-of-his pants renaissance man. He did things on a whim. He ate things on a dare. Barnum and Bailey could have charged to see him"

7) About 10 years ago I worked with a girl who was the kindest,
most sincere person I had ever met. Years later we crossed paths again, and now she's my wife. My wife is the center of my world

8) Part of my wedding vows were words of wisdom from Moses, posted on this forum

9) In 1999, after a night of hard drinking and a dare/bet gone wrong, I ended up registered in Montreal's prostitution database. A friend took a picture of me in a short skirt & pumps, leaning against the cop car.

10) I've been attending university on and off since 1995, and should graduate -according to recent calculations- in 2009