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Try playing any Metallica tune at a minimum of 88 decibels. Should sort the problem - pissing all over the perch like the previous member suggested will work too. You will find that the results will be amplified 100 fold if done simultaneously. Tattooed fore-arms will help if you are fortunate enough and by sheer coincidence happen to be facing north with a rasher of bacon around your neck. But I have heard you have to be naked for the full effect to kick in.
Failing that, you can make napalm by dissolving styrofoam packaging in 2-stroke fuel to a sludgy consistency and then projecting it with one of those pressure-pack pump action weed sprayers. All's you need then is a regulation cigarette lighter and you can kiss that little SOB woodpecker AUF-WIEDERSEHEN!
Can you say "FLAMMEN WERFER"?
Good luck and God bless brother!
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Audi B7 S4
Last edited by Victor; 07-27-2007 at 07:00 AM..
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