[Normy]

Now..the Jetta mit VR6-

I bought the car, and immediately the significant other took a shining to it. This car, with its' 175 horsepower V6 engine was nothing less than a hooligan. I wanted a Volkswagen [since I drive a 928 daily], and I wanted it with a big engine. 944? Sure, but they are old and this is a WORK car, so it needs to be 100% reliable. I figured that a '97 Jetta would be reliable enought. Any sort of 944 probably wouldn't. Also, the Jetta is front-wheel drive, and FWD goes through snow or icy roads like a snowmobile. On top of it all...my dad had a '95 Jetta four cylinder that was what my family semi-affectionately calls the "rock". My dad sold this car this spring with 190,000 miles...and the only things that have ever been replaced are bulbs!

NOT so with my particular Jetta! Day one at my new company: after buying the Jetta, and driving it for a month in Fort Lauderdale, I drove it up to Mephis for my training for my new job. Hello? It acheived 28 miles per gallon on the way up. Great. But December 4th 2006 was 17 degrees fahrenheit in Memphis. I drove about two blocks, and suddenly, an oil seal let loose on the car's oil cooler. I was about one mile away when the oil light came on, and the warning buzzer started to scream...

-These people are going to pay me...probably nearly 8 figures by the time I am done with them. But they can fire me without union protection my first year. And since this is a company that paints:

"The World On Time"

On the side of all their airplanes, trucks, and cars...it occured to me that they probably didn't appreciate tardiness. Especially on the first day.

Ok- I had a decision to make. I'm an airline pilot. Flying an airplane is like driveing a car-the reason we are paid so much is because we have a LOT of money in our hands. Turn around and come back to land when a light turns on? If it is significant, then fine. But is it "on the edge"? Listen: a 727 costs $5000 per hour to operate. If we skip a landing and come back, or go and land somewhere else...we can easily cost the company more than the cost of my 928: $10,600.

Well, Fedex isn't going to go bankrupt if I can't make my first day of work. But they probably won't keep me employed either- they have 20,000 pilot resumes on file, and they have in the recent past turned down shuttle astronauts.

So, when I pulled my V6 Jetta over and looked at the oil pouring out of the front end of the engine, I was a bit perplexed. I was also presented with a question:

Captain Normy: Do you drive back to the crashpad and hope you meet your pad-mate, and he can give you a ride...OR: Do you sit here in the neighborhood and call a cab...and eventually make it to class late?

I made my decision: I went for it. I drove the Jetta back to the crashpad with NO oil pressure! Volkswagens are average cars in my opinion, but they are built like the proverbial third stone south of Hell [Put a Volkswagen on a lift sometime, and put a Honda up on a lift next to it; the thickness of the metal on the suspension alone will cause you to buy your kids Volkswagens for the rest of your life!] survived being driven about a mile and a half with NO~ oil pressure, and no damage was done in this short drive. My crashpad mate, Pete Lenio, whom I walked in on the previous night ["Hi, how you doing...I'm Norm by the way] Was happy to give me a ride to my first day at work. Pete is one of the nicest people I've ever met. Well, I called the local VW dealership, and they were more than happy to rape me again and again. If the service manager wasn't wearing a wedding ring, I'd have wondered if he was gay. They towed the car from the place I was staying and did a proper repair.

Well, the Jetta needed about $600 in repairs. If this had occured at home, I could have certainly fixed it myself, since I have a garage and plenty of tools and TIME when I'm home. But this was in Memfrica, I didn't have my tools with me, and I don't know anything about the local shops.

Well, they fixed the oil leak, and it didn't hurt the engine. ONE week later, I was sitting in Memphis traffic, talking to the significant other..when I heard a sudden "PSHHHHHHT" and steam came from all the vents. I had to pull over. Guess what? The f*cking French heater core EXPLODED. I had to pull over, and for the second time ever...my car was towed to the dealer.

$400 later...My rear end is as sore as ever. And NOW I have no heat.

Great. I'm from Florida. I'm built like a twig, and if it gets into the low '70's I'm fixing to build a fire. Guess where they sent me for IOE: Des Moins, Iowa.

[I suppose it probably could have been worse, but at the time...February...I had to climb 3 foot tall snow banks to walk across the street to a sub shop. I used several dozen of the profanities I learned in second grade during that trip-]

That Jetta wasn't done f*cking with me. Guess what: I drove it out of that shop, and the car promptly overheated. I pulled over on the side of the road on I-240 just south of Poplar and called the [harried...] service manager.

"Way-ell...juss get it bayk here anyway that you can. If if stops...call me bayk an' a'hlll come n geyt you"

I "milked" the car back to the VW dealer, and got it there just before they closed for the day. For what it is worth, Gosset Volkswagen, the worst VW dealer in the world...gave me a new 2007 Jetta loaner car for two days and didn't charge me a cent.

Yeah, great deal. A new Jetta for the weekend, but they needed $1100 to replace the complex dual engine cooling fan on the VR6 Jetta! Ouch. I'm pretty sure that Gosset Volkswagen destroyed the huge relay next to the coolant tank by allowing coolant to cover it, but how am I going to prove that? I'm 1000 miles away from home, am new at my company...and they know it. In the end I've spent $2200 on this car at this dealership since I bought it in Florida.

-I am NOT impressed!

Skip American cars. They are definitely junk. And for sure- skip cheap Volkswagens. They sell their cars upmarket, when in fact a Hyundai is built with probably TWICE the quality.

N!