[MRM]

Hookers and blow is an investment in your lifestyle. Much like a cabin or a boat, the relaxation they afford might extend your life, or at least make it more pleasurable. I'd tilt the portfolio at least 80/20 in the hooker/blow ratio. Just remember, you get what you pay for, but you will always pay for what you get.

If you're going to invest, paying down the mortgage is never the wrong answer either. Knowing whether there are better options requires more information. The big market gurus will chime in in a few minutes and tell you how a mortgage is your best investment, to stick everything in the market and ride it out, but there is much more to the story than that. If you pay down the mortgage you are receiving at least the effective mortgage rate as your return on investment - tax free and without risk. Yes, I know mortgage interest is tax deductible, but with the AMT and itemized deductions versus the standard deduction, it's not the tax savings most people think. And the big thing is that if you pay down the principle you save on interest and shorten the life of your loan. That means you can have a mortgage-free house in a few years. And that means you can have an increase in your cash flow of the $1,000 a month that you were paying down the mortgage with and the monthly mortgage that you don't have to pay any more. Think of the reduction in your cost of living if you have no house payment. With no house payment you can retire earlier and with less savings.

If you are going to invest, do it in the market in as low of a cost no-load index fund as you can find. Over ten years the S&P 500 beats about 97% of all financial fund managers. I would recommend putting half in an S&P 500 index fund and the rest in some broad international funds. The dollar is going down and the international economy is growing, so you need good international exposure.

Unless you have some special industry knowledge or some private pipeline to the truth, it's probably best to buy funds rather than individual stocks. Stay broad, don't pay fees, and put your money where the broader market will lift all investments, not on the performance of some fund manager who got lucky last quarter.