[LeeH]

Have you tried rewarding the desired behavior? This tactic along with predetermined punishments for negative behavior has worked for us with our strong willed 7 year old.

Write it all down and make sure she understands ahead of time that if she CHOOSES (emphasis here) disrespectful behavior then she is choosing a loss of a privilege. The privilege needs to be something of very high importance to her. When she gets in trouble make sure she understands that at the moment she chose the negative behavior she also CHOSE to lose the privilege.

Likewise, make sure she understands that if she CHOOSES to be kind and respectful, then she's going to get some predetermined reward - movie? zoo? Whatever is meaningful to her.

We have used a calendar as a sticker chart for some time with our daughter. At the end of the day she gets a "super sticker" (extra large or sparkley) for super behavior, a "regular sticker" if we've had to reprimand her a few times, or no sticker if she was really getting on our nerves. At the end of the month she gets to choose a book, toy, etc. from a box if she has more super stickers than regular. Too many "no sticker" days and she gets nothing. Yeah, it's complicated, but so are 7 year old females!