Hmm the plot thickens.
Here are my findings.
I ran the car. Saw something bubbling onto the 4th exhaust manifold, which was dry before I started the car.
I pulled the spark plugs. No trace of coolant, but there was oil on cyllinder 1 and LOTs of oil on cyllinder 4.
Got curious, so I pulled the airbox and intercooler pipes. Airbox was dry, but intercooler pipes had traces of oil. I kept going, and sure enough the inside of the throttle body had oil seeping out the bottom...
What the heck is going on here? Do I just have a massive oil leak that I THOUGHT was burning coolant? I could have sworn I smelled collant, but I suppose it might have been oil. Would a blown head gasket cause oil to get everywhere? Ideas?