[911Rob]

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959. (reference: a million seconds ago it was 11.6 days ago)
B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive. (ref: a million minutes ago it was less than a year)
C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age. (ref: million hrs was just over a year ago)
D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet. (ref: million days is 2740 yrs)
E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it. (ref: just plain 'ol stupid)