[jhynesrockmtn]

Without boring you with 20 years of history I got divorced last year after 21 years of marriage. I have two great kids to show for it, 18 and 15 so even though the marriage was very lonely on many fronts I don't have too many regrets. I'm 44, financially in decent shape, halfway through a masters program and in a senior position at a non profit where I like my job and care about what I do.

I was just getting on my own when I tripped over a woman who I care about a great deal. She's opened me up in many ways, the relationship is great on many levels. Physically it's night and day from the frigid days of old.

The problem is I'm pretty sure I'll never want to get married again and the more she's around, the more the other aspects of her life, especially her deadbeat kids are bugging me. They don't live with her but they are constantly asking for money, etc. even though they work full time and between them and her mom they've basically bankrupted her.

I'm not sure I want to take on the emotional baggage of dealing with someone who's a perpetual caretaker of all those around her, Kids, her Mom, her Grandma and now an unplanned grandaughter who's she's becoming a surrogate parent to because the parents suck basically.

I've got a therapist who's great but I'm looking for feedback if it's out there from others who may have walked in the shoes I'm in right now.

Is it selfish for me to want to be independant and carefree? Can people be happy without a significant other? I know I'll risk losing someone who's truly a special person but the longer I'm in this, the harder it's going to be to get out.