[Dan in Pasadena]

Jerry,
I was 45 and divorced after 20 years of marriage in about '00. My kids were then I think 17 and 18. I was NOT in good financial shape as you describe but I had/have a good job with a public agency, my kids were/are good kids with their act in order. I also "tripped over" a good woman who had a slightly older child than my own...with his own problems but nothing too severe. She made me remember what it is to be a man again. I owe her a LOT. We are still together and jointly own a home, a timeshare, some toys - JetSkis (keep it clean boys!) but we did not marry and I suspect we will not.

Feel free to drop me a PM and I can get more detailed in answering questions you may have curiosity about, but suffice it to say I am happy in my current situation. that said, I would caution you about what you already know and is why you are posting us:

Living with a woman (whether married or not) is not a proposition you go into without expecting a LOT of compromise. Especially when you didn't even meet until well into adulthood/middle age (sorry, I know that label hurts!). You have not had your own space; no I mean exclusively your own space and your own tastes for a long time. You might be surprised to find that would be a valuable thing to experience again. Then, there's the whole middle-aged woman and sex thing
(I KNOW first hand it doesn't seem that will be an issue with what's happening now. Been there/done that....it WILL change in some ways, trust me).

My advice to the "me-of-the-past", which is you today - Enjoy the relationship. Because you came out of a rocky and chilly marriage you are as a thirsty man crawling the desert only to find an oasis. You never want to leave....careful there. Don't lose sight of those goals you set in your head as the marriage was coming apart and before you met this woman. It is "me-first" time more than you know. Home, stability, your children, etc. all take precedence over doing "what it takes" to keep this or another woman. Feel free to reply, disagree, whatever. I am NOT saying dump her, but I am NOT saying move in or marry her either. I advise caution.