[Dan in Pasadena]

Scott, I just turned 53 the other day, so I am not all that far ahead of you.

One of the things that (oddly to some) most attracted me to my girlfriend was that she did not "need" me. Oh, she needed me emotionally and physically too - especially at the beginning. But she had a life, a home, a successful career. She had friends and hobbies. I LOVED that about her. She WANTED me, didn't need me. Super attractive. In the beginning, I think she expected us to marry at some point. I asked her how she felt about marriage and she said she didn't have to have it anymore (I think she was telling me what would keep us together at that point). I treat her in every way as though we are married but I do it not because there is any sense of having to; it is entirely because I want to. I am bad at "have-to's" and in my opinion, married people should be that way too.
P.S. You (all of us) will ALWAYS have "issues" with ANY one you live with. If you don't acknowledge that you are , infatuated, immature or fooling yourself. Type and number of issues
you want to deal with is entirely up to you.