• Have you ever enslaved a population?
Define population
• Have you ever debased a nation's currency?
yes
• Have you ever killed the wrong person?
Define person
• Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?
not on purpose
• Have you ever been a professional critic?
took my 1st wife all the time
• Have you ever wiped out a family?
not enough toilet paper
• Have you ever tried to give sanity a bad name?
Do you even have to ask?
• Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?
define unnatural? or really, define natural?
• Have you ever made a planet, or nation, radioactive?
yes
• Have you ever made love to a dead body?
does my 1st wife count, the night she left me for someone else?
• Have you ever engaged in piracy?
Not in any was the RIAA can prove!
• Have you ever been a pimp?
for shizzle, mo dizzle
• Have you ever eaten a human body?
every sunday
• Have you ever disfigured a beautiful thing?
yes, I had sex with them
• Have you ever exterminated a species?
I HATE FRIGGEN FIRE-ANTS
• Have you ever been a professional executioner?
No, not professional
• Have you given robots a bad name?
I called one "scheissen-frau", does that count?
• Have you ever set a booby trap?
BOOBS!
• Have you ever failed to rescue your leader?
Yes
• Have you driven anyone insane?
Haven't I done enough damage here to prove this?
• Have you ever killed the wrong person?
define wrong?
• Is anybody looking for you?
EVERYBODY wants me!
• Have you ever set a poor example?
See the defacing beautiful things
• Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
I am not a woman
• Are you in hiding?
Obviously not
• Have you systematically set up mysteries?
Every chance I get at work
• Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
See above
• Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?
see above
• Have you ever gone crazy?
see above
• Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?
see above
• Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?
see above
• Have you ever smothered a baby?
I love my baby
• Do you deserve to have any friends?
you be the judge
• Have you ever castrated anyone?
I like 10% off everything
• Do you deserve to be enslaved?
I deserve to be served
• Is there any question on this list I had better not ask you again?
just about everything
• Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?
Yes, I cannot run for president
• Have you ever zapped anyone?
My wife, just this morning
• Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?
Every chance I get
