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• Have you ever enslaved a population?
yes, but she asked for it
• Have you ever debased a nation's currency?
currently? no.
• Have you ever killed the wrong person?
No. Well, there was that one time in Yuma, but they couldn't find a jury of my peers
• Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?
I prefer to use a nice sharp blade, Clairice.
• Have you ever been a professional critic?
I'l invoice you after I tell you
• Have you ever wiped out a family?
Divorced twice...what do you think?
• Have you ever tried to give sanity a bad name?
I'm no tabs.
• Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?
no, but i have unnaturally practiced sex in a consistent fashion.
• Have you ever made a planet, or nation, radioactive?
You'll have to ask The Firm.
• Have you ever made love to a dead body?
Divorced twice...what do you think?
• Have you ever engaged in piracy?
Of course. I'm concerned about global warming.
• Have you ever been a pimp?
That's Dr. Pimp Daddy to you.
• Have you ever eaten a human body?
My g/f says, "yes, regularly"
• Have you ever disfigured a beautiful thing?
Have you seen my track car recently?
• Have you ever exterminated a species?
No, but I've examinated some feces.
• Have you ever been a professional executioner?
No, I only do that in my free time. Everyone needs a hobby.
• Have you given robots a bad name?
Bite my shiny metal ass
• Have you ever set a booby trap?
Divorced twice...what do you think?
• Have you ever failed to rescue your leader?
Yes, when the hook gets caught in the kelp.
• Have you driven anyone insane?
Divorced twice....what do you think?
• Have you ever killed the wrong person?
Accidently or on purpose?
• Is anybody looking for you?
Why, have you heard something?
• Have you ever set a poor example?
You're talking about my life's work.
• Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
This is earth? Damn, another wrong turn at Albuquerque.
• Are you in hiding?
Boo!
• Have you systematically set up mysteries?
yes. no. maybe. yes.
• Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
yes. no. maybe. yes.
• Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?
Let me ponder that.
• Have you ever gone crazy?
Is this a trick question?
• Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?
I usually didn't need to persuade them very hard.
• Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?
Mom, is that you again?
• Have you ever smothered a baby?
Have you seen my track car?
• Do you deserve to have any friends?
No, but life really isn't fair, is it?
• Have you ever castrated anyone?
Just my career.
• Do you deserve to be enslaved?
You bet!
• Is there any question on this list I had better not ask you again?
Ask me about my mom again. I dare you.
• Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?
Couldn't really be much less real, could it?
• Have you ever zapped anyone?
Yes, with my first rap album.
• Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?
Like peanut butter...
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