this may be long..
let me preface this by saying that for whatever unfortunate reasons, my wife and i are separated and we'll be filing for divorce soon. it's not important to discuss here the reasons why...we all know that sometimes things just don't work out. good people with the best of intentions, dreams and yes, perhaps illusions..sometimes just don't make it..we all bring a certain amount of 'baggage' into a love relationship..this is true for us both, and we both had to reach the painful realization that the balance of this was greater than our love's abilities to maintain. i honestly never thought that i'd post any feelings at all with respect to 'us'..it's just too painful, more so than losing lilbear last month and you guys know how destroyed i was by that..
so..this is actually refreshing in that this thread is not to 'bash' my wife by any means..she's actually done nothing wrong. it's not my wife who is enduring my anger tonight, but rather a casual guy friend of mine. here's the story..thank you in advance for permitting me space to unload some heated emotion in a healthier way than perhaps winding up in jail.
so, i enter the gym tonight and see this casual trainer friend, perhaps 10-15 years my senior, haven't seen him in a couple months, but always been a guy i rap with during my strength training or whatever. he says hello and seems interested to know 'how i've been lately'. i smile and look at him point blank and say, 'not well at all'. i kinda shrugged my shoulders wryly and just reminded him that my wife and i had re-married back last july, but were now separated and heading again for divorce and that it was tough. he insisted things would get better in time..
flash ahead 15 minutes..his son, a younger high school kid comes up to me in the middle of a set and says, 'do you know that my dad's been training your
ex-wife at the other gym location for two months?' (wy wife and i have had no contact for 2 months). okay, so the kid doesn't understand we're not divorced yet. i was taken aback by this...his next words: 'my dad would kill me if he knew i told you..please don't tell him'. he must have said this four times..seemed scared. the kid likes me..i've given him some training pointers, but he's far too young to understand the complexity of emotion of men, divorce and the ancillary issues..
so, what's the big deal? i know for a fact that my wife has had her 'personal trainer' calling her constantly, at least for a period, trying to get her to go out with him. how do i know? up until about two weeks ago i used to 'peek in' at a forum she posts on..and i got to read all about it. i quit reading when it just got too painful to read, whether nice posts or otherwise. anyway, she even mentioned the fact that his behavior was 'inappropriate'. kudos to her..seriously.
apologies to everyone, but my estranged wife is the most beautiful woman on the planet..hands down. no woman ever moved me so..from the moment my eyes met hers, i was..done. i was hers. she was more 'aphrodite' to me than i could ever have hoped in my widest dreams. howmuch does that suck going forward? a lot...so...of course men notice her. she got hit on all the time while we were married..guys driving by would cat-call, etc. it was just something i had to accept, but i always trusted her..for what it's worth, that belief of the past has never changed in spite of circumstances..
so...this is a '
man thing'..get me? this guy..who had met my wife..a casual friend, but still friend, has apparently been or was for a while trying to hit on her and get her to go out. from what i read, my wife had no interest. like me, she's learned that this healing..this..grieving..will take some time. does she appreciate a man's attention? of course, she's a woman, but she doesn't like to be 'leered at'..were a man to approach her politely (not staring at her ample bosom, beautiful eyes, etc.) and expressed interest, she would then feel 'complimented'. she's no tramp.
but this guy...i think is an effing snake. maybe it's just me?? i have a very firm code of ethical conduct where another man's woman is concerned. married? off effing limits...separated? off effing limits. divorced? still not very classy, but i have no rights, no argument..i'd have to let it pass. but this had me effing furious. so much so that two trainers kept me in the corner until he left the building because i was prepared to make another little trip to jail and jack his ass out into the parking lot for disrespecting me, my marriage..man to man.
kudos to my wife. i couldn't 'date' right now either. i may talk to a woman here and there, but dating? no. i'm not divorced yet..even still, i think it's wise to take some time, process, learn and grow from mistakes and what i've also learned from this marriage.
am i wrong here? i mean..i was effing hot...the guy was asking how 'i'm doing' knowing full well i don't know he's been training my wife and trying to get her to go out. fellas, bigchill was about to drop a big, hard southern ass-whoopin' in the parking lot. i wanted to grab asphalt so badly i had to do an hour on the treadmill after my workout to chill...big.
wrong? or right? next time i see the guy, i'll say nothing..he'd best read my body language and stay the eff away from this guy. if he walks up and asks me, 'how are you doing these days?' again. simple. i say, 'who are you asking for..me or my wife?' his reply will dictate whether or not he gets his ass handed to him. okay, so some of you may take this as a stupid 'testosterone jerk rant' on my part...help me out here..tell me. chill...or 'kill' (kidding)..but you get the picture. messing with a man's wife has provoked way more than one act of passion in this world...dangerous *****.
thanks. rant over. would you feel played a little by your 'friend'..??