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I used to be in the "you know it immediately" camp, but my current relationship has changed my perspective. I took it slow with this one and continued to date other women. I didn't think that she was "the one," but it was fun and interesting. We actually quit dating after 2 months because she had some old baggage that bugged me. A couple weeks later she initiated contact and we started seeing each other again, but I was still seeing other people, taking it slow, and not committing to anyone.
We went away for a week over xmas and everything really clicked. I still wasn't sure she was "the one" but I wasn't really interested in seeing anyone else. Now a month after that, I'm thinking she might be the one. The short story is, I don't think you necessarily know out of the gate. Some women have to grow on you, and you need to come to appreciate what they bring to the relationship.
Oh, and the sex as gotten better and better. +1000 on the sex aspect. If *you* are really into sex and she is lukewarm, move along. I've found out the hard way that people can be wired very differently wrt sex drive. If you like it a lot, you better find a partner that likes it a lot. Otherwise you are doomed as a couple.
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