[jluetjen]

My wife and I are going on 17 years since we got engaged. I agree, physical attraction is like kindling. So if a person were stone ugly, it's difficult for the relationship to get started. That being said, I've met some people over the years where were really quite homely, but as soon as they opened their mouth they turned out to be some of the nicest people I've ever met. To be honest, in hindsight they'd be a lot easier to be married to then some of the real lookers that I've met who were high-maintenance, self-centered witches. (There are also the other two combinations -- people who are ugly both inside and out -- avoid them like the plague, and lookers who are genuinely nice people -- grab'em if you can!)

I've always found my wife attractive. Sure she doesn't have the same figure that she did when I married her, but then I don't either. But whenever she looks up at me and smiles, I always see the same person who danced with me at our wedding. Sure we're all carrying a little more baggage, but she's still the same person. Seeing her happy makes me happy.

I guess that's the bottom line, if making her happy makes me happy, I'll decide to stay married for another day. If I still find her smile attractive, and enjoy the sparkle in her eye, then we're good. If she cares for me, she'll do her best to be attractive to me.

In my opinion -- the secret to success in marriage is all about making the conscious decision to be married for another day. It's not what you start out with that matters as much as what you decide to do with it each day.