[Dueller]

My brother and I are crossed up in a bad way. He is going thru a particularly painful separation where the mother of his 4 y.o. daughter absconded to NY and he is virtually powerless with the legal sytem to get access to his daughter.

After she left he discovered that she and her 20 y.o. dtr (his stepdtr) had forged numerous checks totalling about $6K on hiis business account. He filed criminal affidavits and proceeded with attempts to collect his money. He went to court today and discovered stepdtr was now in Mexico. Judge couldn't do anything and after the police officer stated he neeeded to conduct a further investigation. He asked me what he should do. I explained that stepdtr/mom were likely telling one version (i.e., he had authorized her to sign the checks) and he had his. Basically a he said/she said scenario. I explained that ultimately the court would issue a warrant and at some point down the road when she got pulled over for a traffic violation it would show up and they would arrest her. He became livid at me now matter how I tried to explain I believed his version...I mean c'mon...this is not a high proiority case to the police. Nobody's gonna extradite her from Mexico over a few forged checks. And the bank has even credited his account.

He then attacked me personally for screwing up his second divorce. I find that amazing as I was never formally involved in that action. I did give him my opinions and talked with his then lawyers 9 years ago and tried to explain to him things that a lay person might not understand about the judicial system...including inequities that frustrated me. as far as formal legal advice, I have counseled him on legal concepts but have repeatedly declined to do leghal work for him...e.g., I could not write his will as I am not licensed in his state and even if I was I couldn't write his will as I was an intended beneficiary. I even volunteered to pay for an independent atty to write it.

There were additional issues he was angry about. Most notably financial situations involving my parents. He is upset that I receive an annual gift of $12,000 as part of their estate planning whereas he only rceives $8,000/year. He fails to remember that 4 years agoi my parents lent him $192,000 as part of the purchase price for his home and acreage. The $4000 difference in my annual gift and his is suposedly for interest on that "loan" which has been forgiven each year. I never received any such loan, which he seems to forget. I have never mentioned to anyone anything about this loan except when my parents disclosed it to me I told them it might not pass IRS scrutiny and suggested they seek independent leagal/accounting advice to just set it up as an early gift. My attitude has always been that its their money and they can do as they wish.

His behavior before and after his separation has been eratic and irrational at times. He has acted out in what I consider to be totally unacceptable behavior; i.e., smashing computers when his stepdtr didn't comply with a request, shipping her clothing/belongings to her new address with dog crap in the package that was left by her dog, outbursts of rage, etc.

My parents handwring and treat him with kid gloves and don't call him on his behavior. I have hesitated to give advice unless its asked for and even then tempered any suggsetion of criticism. Today was the final straw when he exploded on me. In the past I've just let him rant and not been candid. This time I came right back at him and let him know I didn't feel he was acceptiing responsibility/owneship for the mistakes he had made.

I dunno what I'm looking for here. Maybe to just vent among strangers is cathartic.