Hell, I'll bring the crossbow and make a silent episode out of it! Expandable mechanical broadheads on a x-bow bolt = "Now with EXTRA Lethal!"
One liter bottle of Maker's Mark for every perp hit (I can't be responsible for EMTs showing up and saving their useless lives).
$100 per day per diem for food, and accommodations for the duration (get your neighbors to chip in on the per diem and this gets really inexpensive, really quick).
Speaking of accommodations, if your wife/girlfriend has a cute (by
my definition) sister/girlfriend, I'll waive my other customary fees.
JP